Wednesday

i've always wanted to be like my Dad. Wrong. in fact, i've always wanted to be JUST LIKE my Dad. and true enough, i often found myself doing the things HE did just so i could become more like him. As a kid i would walk like how he walks( i have pictures as evidence. really cute ones too!!), speak like how he does, write like him, tell stories like he does. That of course accounts to why i often love to colour/exaggerate things i talk about!!

whenever he decided to build new DIY cupboards, mini thaddeus would be right on the job. whenever it came to fixing the lights or waxing the car, i would be right there with him too. more recently, i've been learning to play golf from him!!

i've always wanted to be like my Dad. for reasons i cannot understand, it just delights me to please him and make him proud. it was not like a 5 year old thaddeus would go " I'm gonna make my dad proud of me because not only will it put me ahead of my friends in terms of allowance when i hit primary school, it might also guarantee me a bigger stake in his will when i grow older. In fact, i could even inherit his house!" It was as though pleasing him was something in-built in me.

so all this years i yearned for his nod of approval. like many parents he would sometimes subtley give it, but all these years he never said anything close to " i'm proud of you".

then came australia in november. and on one chilly midnight out in the desert, i recieved a letter from my dad all the way from singapore. it wrote:

Dear Thaddeus,

NS groomed you into a fine young man. Your sisters, your mum and I share your joys and sorrows and silently give you the moral support to see out the completion of your obligations. I am very proud of you.

i cant describe to you how it felt that night. but it was overwhelming. my life counted. i made him proud!

In many ways this reflects how my relationship with the Father should be. I should learn to serve him simply because i want to please him. The blessings and "benefits" are but the consequences. adopting such a simple attitude inevitably brings about truest joy because our fulfillment doesn't come from success more than it comes from pleasing god.

and imagine that day, when we stand before God and get his nod of approval. its rather hard to imagine right now, but just imagine Sir Alex Ferguson picking you for his first 11 against Chelsea, game of the season! Just imagine the Creator of the entire universe, galaxies and cosmos finally telling you that your life mattered to him. you made him proud! Mind-blowing would be an understatement.

Matthew 25:21
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'